I hate it when people say noon is too early for a drink. This country is so uptight and I blame the death of the three martini lunch. I'm not a martini person but I am a drinking person and I prefer to do it in the afternoon.
There is nothing better then a half empty, dark bar. Watching as the suckers slouch home from work. They look so beaten, so dead. Afternoon drinking gives you a chance to feel superior to these suited up lugheads who feel like life isn't worth it unless your boss loves you. Lets see who can climb the corporate ladder the fastest. Yea, lets but I'll need a drink to get started.
Drinking in the afternoon gives you a chance to get to know the bartender better. My two new favorite bartenders are Mike and Ben at Bar Great Harry. Don't start spending every afternoon there because you may accidentally sit in my seat and I'll be forced to accidentally dump you on the floor. Anyway, chatting up the bartender assures you will always get a fresh drink even it the place gets crowded. Like it did yesterday when a bunch of people who should have been at their desks came to drink. Lucky for them my seat was already occupied.
Drinking in the afternoon is the only way this country is going to get back on track to it's former glory. The rest of the world will love us more because we won't have time to invade other countries. Can't shoot a gun with a drink in your hand.
Hitler most definitely did not drink in the afternoon.
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2 comments:
Why wait until the afternoon? But - I loved your blog. The next time we find ourselves in a bar together, midway between sunrise and sunset, I will buy your drinks until you are sloppy drunk - Ellen Burstyn drunk...
Ellen Burstyn and I often get drunk together. We talk about the Jimmie England concerts...dancing naked, covered in glitter.
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